Time for change! Try to imagine what would your day look like without irritability or anger? How many moments, days or even years have been lost in unnecessary grudges and resentments that seem to poison so many lives? So many lost moments could have been saved by a simple realization that anger is an emotion that can be transformed into a creative force and wisdom.
Anger is one of the most common and destructive emotions that negatively impacts our body and mind almost daily. At times anger may seem to give us a tremendous sense of power, but at the same time it undermines our happiness as well as happiness of others. Do you think that you get angry only with people? How about getting upset about the weather, or spilling your coffee just seconds before you have to leave the house? Or what about getting angry at your pets or your life situations?
The first condition is to take responsibility for your own anger. That takes humility and openness to admit to ourselves that we are the primary architects of our fate especially when it’s so tempting to blame others for our miseries. Realize you can say “no” to your anger. Taking this single step is the most important way people can avoid useless anger.
In addition, make a personal commitment to calmness
Calmness is a choice. For many people calmness begins with a decision like this: “I promise to stay calm regardless of what everybody else is doing.”
Below are five simple tips for you to begin to transform your anger, and life, today.
1. Reflect on the Negative Effects of Anger – In order to increase our understanding of anger and cultivate inspiration to practice overcoming it, you will need to reflect on some of the negative effects of anger on the body and mind. Science has proven that when we experience anger, there is a poison, a toxin, that is released into our digestive systems. Anger increases the internal heat in our body and causes more wrinkles. On an emotional level, anger robs you of your joy and happiness. It spiritually weakens your connection with the Divine and destroys your relationships with others. Remembering these negative qualities, and knowing that when you are angry this is happening within you, will help you to overcome this harmful negative emotion.
Sit for a few minutes, in the morning, and think about how anger affects your body and the mind. What does your body feel like? Can you remember some signs such as rising heat in the body, tensing your stomach and muscles, clenching fists? What about your face? Did you feel the blood rushing to your head? You may also think for a moment how anger may have contributing to losing something precious in your life such as a friend or a partner or even a job. It is, after all, a painful experience.
2. Contemplate the Benefits of Overcoming Anger – The next step would involve contemplation on the benefits of mastering anger. By practicing patience, love and forgiveness, some of the antidotes to anger, you will begin to feel in control of difficult situations. One of the most important antidotes to overcoming anger is forgiveness. You must be able to let go of the past. It is detoxifying to both the body and the mind. Forgiveness helps to remove the burden of hate or pain. Forgiveness helps to release you from fear and showers blessings upon you. Forgiveness is like cold water poured over a blazing fire.
How can you forgive more? Who do you need to forgive? And make sure that you remember to forgive yourself for being angry as well. It’s not always about others, sometimes our anger is simply being able to forgive oneself from past wrongs. What other benefits will you develop when you overcome anger? The more examples you come up with, the more inspired you will be to slay this negative emotion.
Remember that every situation where irritability or anger arises, is in fact an opportunity to develop any of the positive antidotes – patience or understanding, kindness, love and forgiveness.
3. Learn to Identify Anger – In order to transform or eliminate anger we need to first be able to identify it. While sometimes our anger is self-evident, other times we don’t seem to recognize that we’re annoyed until the emotion of anger gets out of control and we start speaking or acting aggressively. Anticipate and intercept your anger and frustration.
Begin your day by making a commitment to watching your mind closely and as frequently as you can during the day. When walking, working, or cooking, or doing anything notice if you are going over some hurt or incident in the mind, or dwelling on the faults of others. Remember that you have a choice. You can switch your mind to thinking about something more positive and creative. You can recall, for a few moments the problems of anger and the benefits of the practice of patience, kindness and forgiveness.
4. Conquer the Smaller Waves of Irritation to Build Confidence & Will Power – Work first with the smaller waves of irritation – perhaps notice how a remark from somebody, a tone of their voice, the manner in which somebody may be acting affects you. This can be the right place to start. An opportunity has come for you to rise above the habitual response of getting irritable and you have tips to now put into place. Ask yourself: Is it necessary for me to react in this way? What is a better way to look at this situation? Become aware of irritability before it develops into a stronger and more difficult to control form of anger. Make a firm resolve not to get angry. Train the mind to be a wonderful tool in creating oneness and unity.
5. Deflect the Agitation before it becomes Anger – When working with anger, it is imperative to begin to implement basic tips to deflect the anger. If you can begin to calm the mind and cool the body you are already soaring down the road of overcoming anger. The first tip is to remember we need to control the body first and then the speech. You can cool anger by drinking a cup of cold water or by taking a quick cold shower. This really works as it is known to cool the blood. Also try taking 10 deep breaths. Say some mantras such as Om Om Om or Om Shanti (Om Peace) or any prayer that helps to elevate the frequency of anger.
When getting into a heated debate with someone and you feel that there is too much fire, take a break. Stop the conversation by politely asking for some time out. If there is something to be discussed, going into flames won’t resolve it, so leave it for later. If possible, take a walk. This is not running away. You can come back to the negotiating table later when your mind is calm.
These five simple tips, when put to practice, will transform anger into love and disconnect into connection. Your body will begin to heal from the trauma anger induces. Your mind will be more peaceful. You will speak more sweetly and softly. Your relationships with others will improve.
What more can you ask for? Now be motivated today in overcoming on the most common and destructive emotions known – anger. You can do this! Now you can start on your path of freedom from anger today itself!
